Spend enough time on the Internet there are certain rules that you’re bound to pick up on. Godwin’s Law, for instance, says that any argument on the Internet, regardless of the subject, will result in one person comparing the other to Hitler if it goes on long enough. Rule 34 hypothesises that, if you can think of it, there is porn of it. Finally, slightly lesser known than other Internet rules, there is Poe’s Law. Poe’s Law argues that on the Internet it can be impossible to distinguish a parody from an extremist who genuinely holds such a position.
On a similar note, it’s possible there are plenty of Internet denizens who have become confused on finding these websites, which do an excellent job of promoting their brand and giving important information to their readers, despite the minor inconvenience of being fictional.
The Monster University website was put up to promote the upcoming prequel to Monsters Inc. However it does a good job of appearing just like every other university website in the world. They achieve this by learning the one golden rule of setting up a university website- photograph your students sitting under trees.
Yes, your university may have libraries, computer labs, lecture theatres, sports facilities, and even a wide array of chairs, but university website designers are only interested in one thing- how many attractive students can they fit under a single tree.
Weyland Industries is one of two companies that would eventually go on to form the Weyland Yutani Corporation, one of the most pointlessly evil companies in the history of pointlessly evil companies. Throughout the Alien movies Weyland Yutani’s business plan seemed to be “Go find dangerous alien life form. Allow alien life form to kill all our employees. ??????. Profit.”
As you’d expect from a company of such relentlessly pointless evil, their website is a really slick affair, full of swish looking infographic, company timelines and investor information. Just compare this website to say, Apple’s corporate website, or BP. Then run back to bed and hide under the covers forever.
Virtually All the Google Results for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is a fantastic example of the way we can use our SEO powers for evil, instead of good. Look him up. Lorenzo was the creation of How I Met Your Mother’s womaniser-in-chief Barney Stinson. One of his favourite tricks was to set up a bunch of fake websites for someone under a name that would be easy to get the top search results for- such as Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Then he’d introduce himself to a woman (after checking their phone to make sure it had Internet access) say how great it was not to be recognised, then nip off to bathroom and give them a chance to Google websites such as this one, or this one, or even this one.
We’d advise you not to try this trick at home, but what’s the point? I’m sure you’re already working out which names would be easiest to optimise.
If you’ve ever played the Grand Theft Auto games you’ve probably enjoyed the talk radio programs that blare away as you’re running down men and women, murdering cops and blowing up everything. A recurring character in these programs is the Epsilon Program. Espousing the organisations beliefs, such as “Sperm is a lie” “Trees talk, but only some people hear them” and “Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm” the website bears some resemblance to… Look, nobody wants to get sued here, you know who I’m talking about, I know who I’m talking about, there’s no need to say it out loud. Let’s just call it “The Church of Blientology”, yeah?
Dunder Mifflin is the paper company that is the centre of what we’ll call “the action” in the American series of The Office. While the other websites here include geeky factoids, subtle jokes and parodies, or pictures of monsters sitting under trees, this website looks pretty much entirely like the website for a paper company. That must have been one of the more exciting design jobs you could get hired for.
Chris Farnell is a freelance writer and blogger. Unlike Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, all his Google results are 100% real.