“We’ve all met him before” says guest author Charles Reybreck who is a freelance writer working with the Double Glazing Forum, “when you’re busy with the housework, or about to sit down to dinner with the family, and then the phone rings and an overly friendly, slightly desperate voice starts telling you about the wonders of double-glazing your home”

Yes, we agree, often he is irritating, but just for once, can we spare a moment of pity for this man? After all, the odds are he’s just as unhappy speaking to you as you are to him. Because that double-glazing salesman has dreams, just as George Clooney spends his days dreaming of pulling a heist at a Las Vegas casino, our double glazing salesman dreams that one day he’ll manage to sell windows to:

The St. Enoch Centre, Glasgow

Set in the middle of Glasgow, and built by GMW Architects, the St. Enoch Centre is notable for being the largest glass-covered enclosed area in Europe. The shopping mall’s massive glass roof works to reduce heating and lighting bills thanks to all the natural light it has coming in and the solar heat generated by the roof. In fact, the St. Enoch Centre generates so much heat from its roof that it only needs mechanical heating for an average of one week a year.

Built in 1986, and opened in 1990 by Margaret Thatcher, the mall is known to locals as “The Glasgow Greenhouse”. One can only imagine how much glazing you could have sold to them.

The Crystal Cathedral

The Crystal Cathedral isn’t actually crystal. Or a cathedral (a place of worship needs to be an official bishop’s seat to count). Still, the name has stuck because people just love things that alliterate.

Construction of the not-a-cathedral began in 1977 and was finished in 1980, following founder Robert H. Schuller’s vision of a church made of glass. The finished project cost $18 million and took 10,000 rectangular glass panes to complete. Just imagine how much our double glazing salesman could make off that in commission! The glass was glued, not bolted into place so make it safe during an earthquake. Indeed, the building is designed to withstand quakes of up to 8.0 in magnitude. Which unfortunately means there’s less chance of getting called out to fix breakages.

The Louvre Pyramid

1984 brought us a number of fantastic new things, including The Terminator, Ghostbusters, and yours truly. It was also the year that I.M. Pei was hired by the French president to build a new entrance for the Louvre museum, home of the Mona Lisa and, well to be honest by the time you’ve finished queuing for the Mona Lisa (it’s far smaller than you’d expect) you really won’t have time to look at any of the other paintings.

The entrance Pei designed was a great big pyramid made of glass, which to this day is one of the first things people think of when you say “Building made out of glass”.  70 feet high and made from 673 glass sections from tip too base, the glazier who did the job had an excellent Christmas that year.

Burj Khalifa

You might have seen this building in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, when Tom Cruise dangled off it. You could be forgiven for thinking the building isn’t really that big in real life, since most things look a bit taller when Tom Cruise is dangling off them, but in actual fact the Burj Khalifa is the tallest man made structure in the world at 2,723 feet in height No word on where they got the longest tape measure in the world to work that out.

Our double glazing salesman would particularly love to get the commission for this job, which involves fitting over one and a half million square feet of reflective glazing. The building’s exterior is clad with over 26,000 glass panels, making up 24,348 windows.

Double glazing salesmen dream of getting a commission like that. But instead they have to be satisfied with fitting your conservatory.


Advertisements